Hope for the Future: Our Children
Set your children up for success.
There have been several topics in the news lately about young teenagers and their attempts to make changes in the world. From gun control to freedom of speech these youngsters are determined to make their voices heard. It’s an act worth applause and recognizing our children are the next generation of voices is a wonderful concept to embrace.
The challenge we, as a society, will continue to carry is the burden of preparing these young minds to be members of society who are able to fully embrace the role of being the change they wish to see while still being able to care for themselves. How do we teach them the fine art of standing up for their rights while still protecting the rights of others?
Children are often over-scheduled today. With schools lessening on options for exercise and “play” time and then being part of activities that keep children out several times a week, youngsters have fewer opportunities to learn social hierarchies with each other and less opportunity to allow their minds to wander.
Helicopter parenting happens because its easy. When we have many events to coordinate in our lives it becomes easier for overworked parents to create calendars in their phones/homes to account for their childrens responsibilities. That gradually extends to preparing whatever materials children need for each activity, and even further into assisting in completing projects/responsibilities that belong to the children.
Overworked parents don’t have the energy to argue. Between handling the boss at work, the teachers at school, and your spouse/partner at home, the last thing many parents wish to do is began a debate with a child or having the patience to see a life lesson carry through to it’s end. So what little Johnny didn’t prepare his sports bag for tomorrow. I will take care of it because it’s his bedtime now and I need the peace and quiet….
Equipping our children with the ability to think for themselves is invaluable. Teaching them responsibility to self and others is equally priceless. It’s not major sweeping changes that need to take place, it’s small steps today that can teach them valuable lessons tomorrow.
Give your child responsibilities. Each child is different and, quite frankly, many parents fear doing this, but give children chores. It’s perfectly reasonable to believe a 10 year old can fold laundry. Each year allow these responsibilities to increase. If you are so inclined, provide an allowance that they can use as they please.
Provide opportunities for kids to make decisions. It doesn’t have to be a huge life altering decision. It can be as simple as allowing them to decide when to do their chores or what game will be played for family game night.
Have consequences for their choices (and be prepared to follow through). If your child is responsible for packing their school bag and they forget their homework on the table, they will be responsible for explaining to the teacher why its missing. If they decide they want to play monopoly for game night, they are responsible for cleaning up and putting the game away, etc.
Allow kids to be kids. Playing with other children – or siblings – is vital to the development of children these days. Children can learn from each other: social hierarchy, the ways to treat (and not treat) each other, and how to properly stand up for themselves. If parents are consistently interfering with childhood interactions or keep children too busy to have time for play, there are vital lessons they will miss out on.
Gradual – and small – changes are all that is necessary to see big payoff in the long run. Any adjustment needs to be comfortable for both parent and child. There are many websites these days that provide suggestions and guidance we may not have thought of (check out our Pinterest page for ideas!). If you are still uncertain of the next small step to make, talk to a family therapist! An outside perspective can always provide an out of the box experience.